Lost without you
by Linn
Summary: Set after season two finale. Rory is on her way back home from Washington and she´s only thinking about Jess and the kiss they shared. Jess is waiting for Rory to come home. He´s thinking about her all the time. Rory knows that she have to make a descio


Title: Lost without you  
Author: Linn together with Jessica  
E-mail: linnrothen@hotmail.com, j_rothen@yahoo.se  
Raiting: G  
Category: R/J  
Summary: Set after season two finale.   
Rory is on her way back home from Washington and   
she´s only thinking about Jess and the kiss they shared.  
Jess is waiting for Rory to come home. He´s thinking about her all the time.  
Rory knows that she have to make a descion, Jess or Dean.  
  
  
Jess POV  
Since she left, the days have past by so slow. Every second feels like a minute and   
every minute feels like an hour.  
Now it´s not long until I will see her again. I haven´t been at the bookstore for quit a while,  
when she´s around I can always ask her about a good book.  
I haven´t talked to her in six weeks. I miss her beautiful cristal blue eyes.   
I miss the way she laughs. I miss the way her eyes light up when she smiles and   
I miss her dark brown hair.  
Now when she´s gone I always imagine her walking through the door. I know that she has a boyfriend,  
but that hasen´t stopped me from loving her. I walk around this town, remembering her.  
I have found myself walking past her house several times, excpecting to find her sitting on the porchswing reading.  
Maybe I´m going crazy, I don´t know. Uncle Luke have tried to cheer me up, but it´s no use.  
She came to me in my dreams last night, in a shape of an angel. I tried to reach her, but she keept slipping away from me.  
  
The first time I laid eyes on her, she was standing in the door way to her room with the light behind her.  
It looked like she was on fire. I have never seen such an angel before.  
  
But I was to scared and to angry with the world to see all the great things about her.  
She was just another small town girl. I pushed her away, beliveing that I would make it on my own.  
My mother had just kicked me out of the house. She couldn´t handle me, she said.  
When I look back now, I know I was over the edge. But she saved me, they all saved me.  
When I first came to Stars Hollow all I wanted was to leave. These days I have begun calling this my home.  
I have actually begun loving this place.  
  
I feel at peace here. She´s the reason why. I have never been in love before.  
So when I lost my heart to her I was scared. She was nothing like the other girls I know. Sometimes it feels like she´s a fragile  
bird in a golden cage. Sometimes it feels like a breeze could knock her over.  
Maybe I´m wrong, I don´t know.  
I wan´t to protect her, I want to save her from this world and I want to love her.  
  
  
Rory POV  
The sun warms my face as I look out from the window of the bus.  
I´m on my way back home, finally. Maybe he´s bad for me, I don´t know.  
But my heart still longs for him. I can´t say that it was love at first sight.  
That would be a lie. It creeped up on me. But it took a long time for me to realize that I loved him.   
I don´t lose my heart so easily. I have only loved one person before, Dean. A part of me still loves him though.  
But things have changed. He will always be my first love. He will always have a special place in my heart.  
But I know we can´t stay together , that would be a lie. I´m no longer in love with him.  
  
We are getting closer to Stars Hollow now. My heart is beating faster by every minute that pases.   
It has been so long since I saw him last. It seems like an eternity. The last time we saw each other I kissed him for the first time.  
If I close my eyes I can almost taste him. I broke the bond of friendship that day.   
I crossed the line and I´m afraid that he will recent me for it. I keep on dreaming that he will greet me with open arms.  
Only time will tell.  
  
It´s almost dark when I arrive back home. I grab my suitcase and step out.   
My mom comes runing towards me as soon I have stepped of the bus. She hugs me closley and say:  
" Welcome home hunny. How was your trip? "  
" Wondeful mom, I just loved it."  
I peek over her shoulder and I see that Dean is standing there.   
My heart skips a beat when he smiles and say my name.  
He has still the power to move my heart. I break free from my mother and walk towards him.  
He takes me in his arms and says that he has missed me. Dean let´s me go and takes my suitcase.  
  
Then I see him. The man that has haunted me for weeks is standing only a few metres from us.  
Jess. It feels like my heart stops beating for a while as our eyes meet.  
But I can see pain in his eyes that scares me. Without saying a word he turns around and walks away from us.  
I call out his name but it seems like he dosen´t hear me.  
  
  
Jess POV  
I hear her calling my name, but I keep on walking. I know that I´ve been a fool.  
She was never mine in the first place. I realize now that she never loved me.   
The pain I feelt when I saw he smiling at Dean was so real that I almost crumbled and fell.  
I just stood their watching as he took her in his arms. And I realized that I could never win her.  
I walk the path to the bridge and sit down , staring at the water. It´s getting harder to breath as I close my eyes and see her face before me.  
For a moment I wish that I could drive her out of my heart. But that is impossible, I know that now.  
She´s a part of me. She lives in my heart. I can feel her close before I hear her voice. I don´t know why she has come.  
I have to be strong. She´s standing behind me.  
  
"Why did you leave?"   
I rise and turn to her. God, she´s beautiful. An angel.  
"It looked like you didn´t want me there."  
"Don´t say that."   
"It´s the truth."  
"No, it isn´t."  
"Why have you come here, Rory?"   
"I....."  
"Have you come here to hurt me? Like you did before."  
"I would never willingly hurt you."  
"You made me love you, but now I know that I´m a fool. I gave my heart in vain. You ripped out my heart today. I never thought it was possible."  
"Jess , what are you talking about?"  
"You and Dean. Are you back together? Just tell me so I will know."  
"Don´t you know it by now , Jess? Don´t you know that I´m madly and hopesly in love with you?  
I love every part of you. I love the way you can´t hide the goodness in you. I love the way you smile. I love your heart and soul.  
I love everything about you."  
  
She´s smiling at me. I have dreamed about this for so long that it´s hard to believe that it´s finally here.  
My voice is just a whisper as I speak.  
  
"You lie."  
"If you don´t believe, believe this."  
  
She frames my face between her hands and brushes her lips against mine. It´s the softest kiss.   
I feel myself crumble and fall. I lean closer and let myself go. All the passion I have keept hidden from the world comes out in that kiss.  
I want to own her, I don´t want to ever let her go. Finally we break apart and I look at her.  
  
"Don´t ever leave me again. I love you."  
"I won´t."  
I take her hand and we start to walk back towards the town. I don´t know what the future will hold for us. But I know one thing;   
I will never let her go again. She belongs to me. As I walk this path I know that I´ve been blessed with an angel. I know the truth,  
heaven is missing an angel.  
  
The end  
Please send feedback!  
linnrothen@hotmail.com, j_rothen@yahoo.se 


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